When To Give Inheritance Money To Your Kids

Should an inheritance be strictly an inheritance, to be left to children when their parents die? Or should parents use at least some of that money while they’re still alive to help out their adult children financially? And if parents give while they’re alive, how much should they give and when?

Of course, every family is different—both in terms of what they can afford and what brings them joy. But there are some things every family should consider when deciding how to pass wealth from one generation to the next. The Wall Street Journal invited three financial advisers to discuss those issues: Michael Garry, founder of Yardley Wealth Management in Yardley, Pa.; Jacqueline B. Roessler, certified divorce financial analyst at the Center for Financial Planning in Southfield, Mich.; and Tony Walker, a retirement-planning specialist in Louisville, Ky.

Here are edited excerpts of the discussion.

WSJ: How do you advise clients on the topic of the timing of inheritance?

MR. GARRY: I believe strongly that parents should dole out money while they are alive and not stockpile it any more than they need to for their own financial security. The people who make gifts during their lifetimes are able to help their children, and maybe grandchildren, at the exact time they likely most need the money, and not based on the random date of their death. They also get to see the benefit of the gift to their children and grandchildren. The extent of the gifts depends on how much the parents can afford.

MS. ROESSLER: It depends on their personal goals, tax situation and current financial needs, as well as the financial needs and tax situation of their heirs. First, they need to make sure they have enough resources to cover their own financial needs, including any potential long-term-care expense. Once that’s established, they should discuss gifting strategies with their adviser, keeping in mind the parents’ ultimate goals, such as minimising income taxes and capital-gains taxes during their lifetime, spending down their assets to later qualify for Medicaid, or providing for their children’s specific financial needs.

MR. WALKER: I’m a firm believer that too many people save every penny until the day they die, instead of spending their money now. With so many savers maxing out contributions to their 401(k) plans, my concern is that most of them have no plan for using and enjoying their savings before it’s too late. There’s a struggle going on with my clients when I broach this subject of saving too much for the future. They wonder: Will their children be responsible with the money? There’s only one way to find out, and that’s throw them a bone now to see how they handle it.

WSJ: With the pandemic wreaking havoc on many families’ finances, have you seen families change the way they are thinking about inheritance?

MR. GARRY: Most of my clients are in much better shape than they were a year ago. Unfortunately, a lot of their children and grandchildren are not. We’ve seen a real uptick in people expressing gratitude in being so fortunate with their health and finances and not wanting to wait to help both their offspring and their favourite charities.

We’ve had people who have kicked the idea around for years but never did it who are actually taking steps now and making gifts. They seem to realize more than ever that they don’t know how much time they have, and some of their kids have been unemployed for much of the last year. I don’t think many of them ever expected to see their children hurting so much, and it has moved them.

MS. ROESSLER: I haven’t seen families make dramatic changes to their legacy planning, at least not yet. However, as government aid ends, many millennials will be left without jobs and with increased expenses. In conversations with older clients, they are prepared to begin making adjustments in their gifting strategy to accommodate changing needs.

WSJ: Should there be strings attracted to parental giving?

MR. WALKER: This is a gift and shouldn’t come with any strings attached. Still, how your kids and grandkids react might certainly sway future considerations as to whether you wish to continue the gift-giving trend.

MS. ROESSLER: I think it depends on the family circumstances. Some parents may feel their children need guidance on how to wisely spend gifted dollars; others aren’t comfortable attaching any strings to gifts. One family I’ve worked with requires their adult children to donate a portion of their annual gift to a worthy charity. Another family specified that the gift must be used toward college costs for their children or major expenses such as a car or down payment on a home.

WSJ: How can parents who want to help their children while they are alive prevent themselves from becoming their children’s bank?

MR. WALKER: Before starting the gift-giving trend, it is important for parents to speak about their finances frankly with their children. While you don’t have to take all of your financial clothes off, you need to be frank with them as to how you’re doing financially. As well, blend into the mix that you are very grateful for the way you have been blessed and your desire to share some of your good fortune with them now—at a time in life when they can use it—versus waiting until after you die. Also, never tell them that there’s more where that came from, as you might regret setting up such an expectation.

MR. GARRY: It makes it much easier to avoid being the bank if the child knows that the gift is for a specific purpose, like to pay their health insurance, or go toward their student loans, or make their IRA contribution or for a deposit on a property. I’ve also told my clients they can feel free to tell their children their financial adviser has said they can’t afford to make that gift or even make any more gifts, depending on the circumstances.

WSJ: What are some common mistakes you see parents making in deciding how to transfer wealth to their children?

MR. WALKER: Not understanding that the value of their 401(k) actually will go down over time. That is because between future taxes and inflation, the money they are stockpiling will be worth less then than it is now. Think about it: What if, instead of socking it all in a 401(k), you could give some money away to your kids now with no tax to them? Wouldn’t that make more sense?

MS. ROESSLER: Some parents give more than they can afford and wind up with an unintentional reduced standard of living. This can lead to marital tension when both spouses aren’t on the same page. There is also a substantial tax advantage to transferring stocks and mutual funds after death versus during your lifetime, though this could change under President Biden.

MR. GARRY: The biggest downsides come when gifts are given with no discussions around expectations. We had a client who, before coming to us, went through a bit of a rough patch with his son and daughter-in-law. He had made gifts for a few years to them around Christmas and he didn’t say anything about it other than “Merry Christmas!” Well, after three or four years of those gifts, the son and daughter-in-law expected them to continue. Without saying anything, he just stopped because he wasn’t in the financial position to continue. But they didn’t understand that and there was tension until they finally talked about why he had discontinued giving and they were able to heal the rift.

Happy is the family whose members—parents, grandparents and grown children—trust each other enough to cooperate on shared goals, especially financial ones. When that is truly the case, Uncle Sam’s tax rules can help as well.

This matters especially now that mortgage rates are above 7%, and many families are looking for ways to help younger members. If the elders have resources and are confident younger ones can cooperate, a family loan could make homeownership possible while providing the elders with a useful income stream.

Other strategies can actually lower taxes, such as when funding 529 plans or Roth IRAs, or when someone inherits a traditional IRA with required withdrawals larger than they will need.

Here are three strategies useful for functional families.

Intrafamily loans

It is perfectly legal for families to lend money to a relative for a down payment or even a private mortgage.

But it is important not to cut corners, says Ryan McKeown, a CPA with Modern Wealth Enhancement in Minnesota. If the loan is for a down payment, be honest with the mortgage provider and have a formal agreement. The lender owes tax on the interest payments received.

If the loan is for a private mortgage, both sides should have legal representation with a formal written agreement, including payment terms. The lender owes tax on the interest, and the borrower often can deduct it if he or she itemizes.

To avoid IRS trouble, the interest rate shouldn’t be lower than the agency’s Applicable Federal Rate at the time of the loan. Currently that is about 5% for loans longer than nine years; about 4.5% for loans three to nine years; and about 4% for loans three years or less. Currently, traditional mortgage rates are generally above 7%.

In addition, the lender could use the $19,000 annual gift-tax exemption (described below) to forgive some or all of the interest or principal annually. If both lenders and borrowers are married, that is up to $76,000 a year. There is no tax for the borrower on such forgiveness, because it is from a gift.

If you’re going this route, McKeown advises against having a fixed plan to forgive the debt. Instead, do it in one-off letters specifying the amount—and keep careful records. Otherwise the IRS might try to treat the loan as a taxable gift.

Asset gifts

Powerful tax-saving moves for families often use gift-tax provisions. Under current law, anyone can give anyone else up to $19,000 of assets annually, free of gift tax. That means a married couple with three grandchildren could give them a total of $114,000 in 2026.

The gifts can be cash or other assets, like stock. For noncash gifts, the cost basis—which is the starting point for measuring taxable gain after a sale—“carries over” to the recipient. So if someone buys $1,000 of stock and gives it away when it is worth $5,000, the recipient’s cost basis is $1,000. If the recipient later sells the shares for $8,000, the taxable gain is $7,000.

Here’s an example showing how gifts could save a family taxes. Grandma is a widow of modest means, while her child and spouse have prospered. The couple has two children, and they want to contribute $5,000 to a 529 college-savings plan for each—but they need to sell stock to do it. Their tax rate on the sale would be 18.8%, and they would need to sell about $11,000 of stock.

However, Grandma’s federal tax rate on the stock sale is 0%. If the couple gives $10,000 of shares to Grandma, she could sell them, pay no tax, and fund the grandchildren’s 529 plans. This saves about $1,000 of tax.

These moves are legal, and they could be used in other ways, such as to help a young person fund a Roth IRA.

But trust among family members is essential: Under the law, givers can’t put conditions on a gift. Grandma could use her stock proceeds to take a cruise, but she makes 529 contributions instead.

Mark Sellner, a retired tax attorney and CPA living in Sarasota, Fla., uses this strategy. His children sell stock he gives them and fund 529 plans for his grandchildren.

The family’s tax savings aren’t huge, but he likes other benefits. The sales by his children don’t boost his adjusted gross income, which in turn could raise his Medicare Irmaa premiums or his 3.8% surtax on net investment income.

Sellner doesn’t worry about his children using the funds for another purpose.

“There can’t be any strings attached to gifts. Of course, it is up to us to decide whether to make them in the future,” he says.

Two caveats: The “kiddie tax” applies to most children under age 24, and it is levied at the parents’ rate on investment income above $2,700 in 2026. Consider this before making gifts to a young person.

Investors who give away stock also forgo the step-up, an important provision that exempts assets held at death from capital-gains tax.

Sellner knows he’s losing a step-up, but says, “The children could use a little more now. Why should they wait 20 years to get it?”

Disclaimers

A disclaimer is a highly useful strategy in which one heir renounces an inheritance in favor of another heir. Assuming family members cooperate, this can save taxes.

Here’s one example. Dad died and had a large traditional IRA that he left to Mom. She has enough assets and income to cover her expenses, and she lives in a state with a stiff estate tax. The inherited IRA would put her estate over the threshold.

Also surviving are three young-adult children. If Mom disclaims all or part of Dad’s IRA within nine months of his death, that amount could go directly to the children. They will have 10 years to empty the account, and the family as a whole will likely save estate and income taxes.

Disclaimers have many key details, especially regarding beneficiary documents. Although heirs have great freedom in choosing what assets to disclaim, the rules about who gets disclaimed property are rigid. It is best if the original owner names tiers of heirs so that if one disclaims, the next recipient is clear.

When To Give Inheritance Money To Your Kids

Is it better to help your children when you’re still alive? Or wait until after you die?

Strong family financial planning can help reduce taxes and support younger generations. From intrafamily loans and asset gifts to inheritance disclaimers, strategic cooperation can create meaningful financial benefits—when families have the trust and structure to make it work.

Intrafamily loans

Asset gifts

Disclaimers