DO YOU NEED AN INTERIOR DESIGNER OR A MARRIAGE COUNSELLOR?
Interior designers often employ therapy-like techniques to find stylish compromises for clients with warring aesthetics.
Interior designers often employ therapy-like techniques to find stylish compromises for clients with warring aesthetics.
My husband James and I are decorating our new vacation house in the Rocky Mountains of Colorado and have taken on so much more than we can chew that we’re choking…mostly because I’ve been a rude co-designer. Years of writing about decorating have turned me into the Joan Rivers of home décor, minus the comedy.
He wants wood, leather and black metal. If I don’t get white upholstery, one too many throw pillows and patterns as dainty as the pinnules on a maidenhair fern, I will perish.
When James texts me an image of a chair or light to consider, it’s often more masculine than I can bear—and I’ll text too brusquely why I hate it. My behaviour is not OK, especially because my spouse is one of the kindest souls on earth.
I’m not the only person whose style clashes with her partner’s as painfully as pink paisley and tartan plaid. “Disagreements between couples on residential projects is the leading reason our studio decided three years ago to pursue more hospitality and commercial projects,” said Dallas, Texas, designer Jean Liu. “Maybe we were unlucky, but we realized how unequipped we are to handle marital strife.”
It wouldn’t hurt an interior designer to bone up on strategies for couples-conflict resolution. In a 2021 survey by Houzz, a website and online community dedicated to home improvement and decorating, 11% of the couples among the 75,470 U.S. respondents declared they found it challenging to work with their spouse on a renovation. In the Houzz U.K. 2022 Renovations and Relationships Survey, 16% of 1,250 respondents said they considered separating during the renovation process.
When it comes to cohabitated spaces, the stakes are high, in part because your home is “an expression of who you are and your personality,” said Boston family therapist Terrence Real, author of “Us: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship” (Goop Press, 2022).
Los Angeles designer Kevin Klein has found that when working with couples, disagreements are as unavoidable as shipping delays. Consequently, during initial consultations, Mr. Klein asks clients how they’ll handle any impasse that might arise. “They always look at me cross-eyed, like ‘What are you talking about?’ But that moment inevitably comes six months down the line, when we’re doing relationship counselling rather than designing.”
Real-estate developers Ilana and David Duel credit Mr. Klein for steering them through their own renovation harmoniously. “It’s really hard between husband and wife to make decisions,” said Ms. Duel. “You can spend hours and hours on just the tile.” She longed for an all-white house with light wood floors, while Mr. Duel and Mr. Klein sought to maintain the 1930s abode’s Spanish character.
Today, such unlikely roommates as a boxy, white marble coffee table—a nod to her taste—and drippy Murano crystal sconces—a reflection of Mr. Duel’s—are shacked up happily in the couple’s living room. “If you decide to hire a designer, know that they’re much better at designing than you are,” she said.
In case you don’t have the coin to take on a personal interiors pro, video design consultations offered by websites like the Expert, billed by the hour, can yield affordable tiebreaker advice. Decorist’s new service, for example, lets you book a 30-minute Zoom session with a pro for $59.
Whether hiring an expert or going it alone, Mr. Klein recommends you set up “office hours,” as he puts it. “When you come home after a long day, you don’t want to address these design decisions,” he said. “It’s not sexy; it doesn’t feel right.” Dedicating specific chunks of time to the process, periods when you’re both well-rested, is a better way to hear the other person’s side, he says, “than while you’re sitting in bed together watching TV.”
Another sanity-saving strategy: Choose décor that’s easily swappable. When Los Angeles designer Rydhima Brar’s client sought a swashbuckling 1970s-inspired graphic wallpaper, her other half didn’t find it shagadelic. The peace offering? Removable wallpaper they could switch out if he still balked down the line. Ultimately, he was into it.
Pictures, in these situations, are worth a thousand exhausting negotiations. “Most people don’t have the vocabulary to define their style,” said New York City designer Rozit Arditi. Gray Walker, a designer in Charlotte, N.C., often asks client couples to “pin” images of things they like on Pinterest boards, an easy ask, and then seek compromise with the help of those visual aids. “I have found that hearing both parties and giving each person a bit of what they want is the way to go without conflict,” she said.
For the living room of her clients’ 1930s Georgian revival home in Charlotte, Ms. Walker navigated warring aesthetics by acknowledging each—installing a Chinese screen and timeworn Oushak rug for him, an antique obsessive, and a bergère upholstered in faux fur as well as a minimal brick-red-velvet sofa for her, a fan of all things modern.
Seeking middle ground can lead to unexpected dynamism. When he first met his husband, Atlanta designer Vern Yip gravitated toward clean lines and Asian antiques. But his husband “brought a lot of European antiques into the picture that I never wanted and always felt kind of claustrophobic around,” Mr. Yip said. The happy medium they found was far from middle-of-the-road. “He had this dining table that had a ton of carvings. It was really well made but very old European. And we paired it with these Brno chairs—black leather and chrome—and it just sang, you know? They gave each other space.”
Pulling a common nostalgic thread from a pair of clients’ pasts helped PJCArchitecture find a design detente for the couple’s lakeside second home in Indian Lake, N.Y. Rob Maher, a retired Metropolitan Opera chorus member, asked for something resembling a Japanese tea house, while his wife, Deborah Allton-Maher, a retired Metropolitan Opera dancer and attorney, longed for the lusciously loggy cabin in the 1981 film “On Golden Pond.” After learning that the couple had toured Japan several times, the New York City architects found consensus in a shared memory of shou sugi ban (charred wood), a common feature of the country’s temples. The bridging fix: The architects sided a modern Adirondack pitched-roof house with the material. “We loved it,” said Ms. Allton-Maher.
Therapist Mr. Real’s bottom line: “You can bully your way and get what you want in the short run. But you’ll breathe in that solution in the long run, in your partner’s resentment,” he said. “If you frame it as a power struggle in which one of you wins and the other one loses, you both lose.”
I didn’t want my husband and I both to lose, so I (mostly) quit being a tyrant. I relented on two of James’s desires, a pair of leather-and-walnut chairs and channel-tufted leather bar stools. And you know what? They look great next to my white bouclé sofa and the Deco-ish barrel armchairs I chose in a cinnamon velvet—and I think they’re all destined to live happily ever after.
Rugged coastal drives and fireside drams define a slow, indulgent journey through Scotland’s far north.
A haven for hedge-fund titans and Hollywood grandees, Greenwich is one of the world’s most expensive residential enclaves, where eye-watering prices meet unapologetic grandeur.
A haven for hedge-fund titans and Hollywood grandees, Greenwich is one of the world’s most expensive residential enclaves, where eye-watering prices meet unapologetic grandeur.
Greenwich, Connecticut, is in New England (just barely), but that doesn’t mean it’s a quaint, sleepy small town with covered bridges and white churches on the green.
It’s leafy, certainly, but it’s also a luxury-minded power centre close to New York City, with many celebrity residents (director Ron Howard, singer Diana Ross, actor Meryl Streep and, at one time, Australia’s own Mel Gibson).
The main shopping street, Greenwich Avenue, is home to brand stores such as Hermès, Kate Spade, Saks Fifth Avenue, and Tiffany & Co.
And Greenwich, particularly in the “back country” north of the Merritt Parkway, is host to some of the most exclusive real estate in the world.
The average price for a single-family home in the second quarter of 2025 was USD $3.25 million (AUD $4.9 million). But that’s merely an entry point, buying a smaller home in one of the town’s less desirable neighbourhoods.
What does USD $43 million (AUD $66 million) buy in Greenwich?
Last autumn’s most expensive listing offered a 1,068-square-metre waterfront home with eight bedrooms and 11 bathrooms, plus “Gatsby-like lawns”, a gym, games room, party room, wine cellar, fruit orchard, pool and spa. The front and side porches have heated floors.
Prefer something more traditional and secluded? For USD $33 million (AUD $50 million), buyers could close on an 11,760-square-metre Georgian manor on 3.2 hectares, featuring eight fireplaces, an elevator, and a dumbwaiter.

The first floor features a three-storey cascading chandelier. For bibliophiles, there’s a two-storey mahogany library. If bocce is more your pace, a similar USD $25 million compound on 7.5 hectares, built for a liquor magnate in 2009, may appeal. Fourteen bathrooms should suffice.
The Greenwich market is strong, but not without challenges.
“The big problem is that there’s no inventory,” said Evangela Brock, an agent with Douglas Elliman. “It’s extremely low at all price points.”
In November, just 15 properties under USD $1 million (AUD $1.52 million) were listed without contracts, compared with 23 above USD $10 million (AUD $15.2 million). Of those, six had contracts pending. Greenwich has more than 17,000 single-family homes.
Kanebridge Quarterly toured two mid-priced houses in Greenwich. “You don’t lose money in Greenwich real estate,” said Beth MacGillivray, a realtor with the Higgins Group. “This is the hot spot.”
MacGillivray opened the door to a 733.9-square-metre Georgian colonial in the Sherwood Farms Association development her family built in 2005. The house was expected to sell for about USD $5 million (AUD $7,743,535).
The six-bedroom, four-level house is move-in ready, with staged furniture showing its potential and many of the amenities that buyers in this range expect.
Visitors enter through a two-storey foyer with a marble floor. A circular staircase leads to an airy living room with double-height ceilings.
There’s a main bedroom with his-and-hers bathrooms, a cherry-panelled library with cigar-smoke venting, five fireplaces, and a state-of-the-art kitchen with a breakfast nook by Greenwich-based designer Christopher Peacock.
Most rooms have huge walk-in wardrobes. Even the laundry room has granite countertops. Custom millwork, cabinetry and fixtures are evident throughout.
The drawbacks? A smaller yard and no pool. Still, refugees from the city would marvel at the abundant interior space.
Not far away, an entirely different house was on the market for USD $2.66 million.
The imposing 696.7-square-metre, nine-bedroom, seven-bath Georgian/Federal home on Shady Lane in the Glenville neighbourhood was built in 1900. Its good bones and inherent grandeur were apparent, as was a clear need for updating.
“It’s a good project for someone,” said realtor Kaori Higgins. “It needs the right buyer, someone who is looking to return it to its stately original condition.”
Given the hot market, some buyers may be tempted to tear it down and build anew.
But the house is filled with charming period details, including hand-built stone fireplaces, reading nooks, pocket doors, leaded windows and beautiful original millwork.
The second floor offers a vast veranda with views of Long Island Sound and a built-in swimming pool.
The drawbacks? Bathrooms that were awkwardly redesigned in the 1970s, unsightly flooring on the upper levels, and crumbling exterior elements.
Higgins noted that a nearby sister property, fully renovated, sold for USD $11 million (AUD $17 million). Any buyer of Shady Lane’s faded elegance would need both imagination and deep pockets.
For contrast, Kanebridge Quarterly left Greenwich for nearby Fairfield’s upscale Greenfield Hill neighbourhood to visit Lion’s Gate, a 595 square metre Tudor Revival home built as a modest dwelling in the 1920s but extensively expanded and remodelled in 2000.
With three acres of land, a guest cottage, an artist’s studio and a pool house, the asking price is USD $3.3 million (AUD $5 million). Like the Sherwood home, Lion’s Gate is flawlessly move-in ready, with designer touches throughout.
The entire second floor was added during the renovation and features parquet flooring, a massive main suite, arched doorways and 2.74-metre ceilings.
Many rooms include walk-in wardrobes, extensive carved millwork and built-ins. The wood-panelled library (on the site of the former stable) is warm and inviting.
The expansive kitchen includes a window seat with a hand-painted ceiling, a wine cooler and a butler’s pantry.
Realtor Lorelei Atwood said Fairfield faces the same inventory shortage as Greenwich.
“Demand is growing as more New York-based executives are being told they have to report to the office,” she said. “Fairfield has always been a commuter town.”
Why is this home USD $3.3 million (AUD $5 million), and the Sherwood property around USD $5 million (AUD $7,743,535)?
Location. Greenfield Hill is lovely, but Greenwich real estate occupies a rarefied class of its own.
Note: Thanks to realtor Sherri Steeneck for chaperoning.
This story appeared in the Autumn issue of Kanebridge Quarterly, which you can buy here.