Three real-estate professionals dish on dealing with confrontational people living next door to a listing
3 min
Q: Have you ever had to deal with a nightmare neighbour while showing a home?
Arthur Greenstein, broker associate, Douglas Elliman Real Estate, Dallas
In April 2022, I showed a four-bedroom duplex unit in University Park, near Dallas, to one of my clients. From the second we arrived, I knew there was going to be a serious problem because the next-door neighbour, who lived in the other half of the Midcentury Modern house, was nosy and angry. She would barge into the unit each time I was there with my buyer, trying to find out who her neighbour would be, and she would stand outside the duplex yelling at us about how we parked our cars. She was retired and had a lot of time on her hands, and she acted like she was the mayor of the block. It was difficult because I didn’t want to be confrontational with anyone when showing a house, and she was being intrusive. After she did this a few times, I tried to convince my client not to buy the property because I’ve seen in other situations what an unpleasant neighbor can do to the value and enjoyment of a property. But he purchased it anyway because that area had limited inventory and great schools. After the closing, the problems continued. The neighbour shut off my client’s water and electricity and put a lock on the water meter. He had to call the police to get the utilities turned back on. Over the past year, things have not calmed down. My client is involved in a lawsuit now with the next-door neighbour and the previous owner for not disclosing the adverse condition of having a nightmare neighbour living next-door.
Tom Stuart, associate broker, The Corcoran Group, Brooklyn, N.Y.
In June 2020, I listed a two-bedroom co-op in Brooklyn. This was during Covid, and the neighbour next door was very angry that buyers were coming in and out of the building. At the very first open house, when I was buzzing individual buyers into the building one by one, a buyer informed me that there was a note taped to the door of the apartment. When I went to look, I found a piece of notebook paper taped to the door that said in scrawled handwriting: “Don’t buy this! Rats and Bugs!” I had no idea how many people saw it. The neighbour also called building management and my manager to complain, but everything was being done properly. He started posting signs on the walls of the hallway that said things like “You are being watched!” and “Area under surveillance.” More than once, I caught him with his door cracked open, peeking through, which spooked potential buyers. My sellers were perplexed, but didn’t want to confront him. I was eventually able to sell the apartment, but he didn’t do himself any favours since his efforts certainly meant it took longer to sell the property and, ultimately, more people came through than might have without his interference.
Melvin A. Vieira, Jr., real-estate agent, Re/Max Destiny, Boston
In October 2019, I sold a two-bedroom, Cape Cod-style home in the Hyde Park neighbourhood of Boston. I was representing the seller. Every time I would go over to the house, the seller would yell, “Melvin, close the door, close the door!” I didn’t know what he was talking about, but then he would shout, “It’s too late. She’s there!” And then, his next-door neighbour would appear, a middle-aged woman who was nice, but quirky. She would just walk into the house and start talking about everything going on with the house and the neighbourhood. My client said she was just making it up. It got to the point where I had to sneak into the house. It became a game, almost like an episode of “Mission Impossible.” I would pull up, check for her car, and if I saw it, I would park my car down the block and then walk to the house and go in a side door just to avoid having her see me and come over to interrupt a showing. My client told me she was doing that because she didn’t want him to move. He had lived there since 1996, and she didn’t like change, so she was trying to kill the deal. My strategy was to become friendly with her and have conversations with her away from the house. If I knew someone was going to show the house, I would stop her outside her house and talk to her to distract her. The market was strong, and the house sold within a few days of being listed, so she didn’t slow anything down. And, ironically, she and the new owners get along now.
—Edited from interviews by Robyn A. Friedman
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What a quarter-million dollars gets you in the western capital.
Alexandre de Betak and his wife are focusing on their most personal project yet.
Unmarried home buyers say they are giving priority to a financial foundation over a legal one
4 min
The big wedding can wait. Couples are deciding they would rather take the plunge into homeownership.
In reshuffling the traditional order of adult milestones, some couples may decide not to marry at all, while others say they are willing to delay a wedding. Buying a home is as much, if not more of a commitment, they reason. It helps them build financial stability when the housing market is historically unaffordable.
In 2023, about 555,000 unmarried couples said that they had bought their home in the previous year, according to a Wall Street Journal analysis of Census Bureau data. That is up 46% from 10 years earlier, when just under 381,000 couples did the same.
Unmarried couples amounted to more than 11% of all U.S. home sales. The percentage has climbed steadily over the past two decades—a period in which marriage rates have fallen. These couples make up triple the share of the housing market that they did in the mid-1980s, according to the National Association of Realtors.
To make it work, couples must look past the significant risk that the relationship could blow up, or something could happen to one partner. Without a marriage certificate, living situations and finances are more likely to fall into limbo, attorneys say.
Mark White, 59 years old, and Sheila Davidson, 62, bought a lakeside townhouse together in Newport News, Va., in 2021. But only her name is on the deed. He sometimes worries about what would happen to the house if something happened to her. They have told their children that he should inherit the property, but don’t have formal documentation.
“We need to get him on the deed at some point,” Davidson said.
White and Davidson both had previous marriages, and decided they don’t want to do it again. They also believe tying the knot would affect their retirement benefits and tax brackets.
Couples that forgo or postpone marriage say they are giving priority to a financial foundation over a legal one. The median homeowner had nearly $400,000 in wealth in 2022, compared with roughly $10,000 for renters, according to the Federal Reserve’s Survey of Consumer Finances.
Even couples that get married first are often focused on the house. Many engaged couples ask for down-payment help in lieu of traditional wedding gifts.
“A mortgage feels like a more concrete step toward their future together than a wedding,” said Emily Luk, co-founder of Plenty, a financial website for couples.
Elise Dixon and Nick Blue, both 29, watched last year as the Fed lifted rates, ostensibly pushing up the monthly costs on a mortgage. The couple, together for four years, decided to use $80,000 of their combined savings, including an unexpected inheritance she received from her grandfather, to buy a split-level condo in Washington, D.C.
“Buying a house is actually a bigger commitment than an engagement,” Dixon said.
They did that, too, getting engaged eight months after their April 2023 closing date. They are planning a small ceremony on the Maryland waterfront next year with around 75 guests, which they expect to cost less than they spent on the home’s down payment and closing costs.
The ages at which people buy homes and enter marriages have both been trending upward. The median age of first marriage for men is 30.2, and for women, 28.6, according to the Census Bureau. That is up from 29.3 and 27.0 a decade earlier. The National Association of Realtors reported this year that the median age of first-time buyers was 38, up from 31 in 2014.
Family lawyers—and parents—sometimes suggest protections in case the unmarried couple breaks up. A prenup-like cohabitation agreement spells out who keeps the house, and how to divide the financial obligations. Without the divorce process, a split can be even messier, legal advisers say.
Family law attorneys say more unmarried people are calling for legal advice, but often balk at planning for a potential split, along with the cost of drawing up such agreements, which can range from $1,000 to $3,000, according to attorney-matching service Legal Match.
Dixon, the Washington condo buyer, said she brushed off her mother’s suggestion that she draft an agreement with Blue detailing how much she invested, figuring that their mutual trust and equal contributions made it unnecessary. (They are planning to get a prenup when they wed, she said.)
There are a lot of questions couples don’t often think about, such as whether one owner has the option to buy the other out, and how quickly they need to identify a real-estate agent if they decide to sell, said Ryan Malet, a real-estate lawyer in the D.C. region.
The legal risks often don’t deter young home buyers.
Peyton Kolb, 26, and her fiancé figured that a 150-person wedding would cost $200,000 or more. Instead, they bought a three-bedroom near Tampa with a down payment of less than $50,000.
“We could spend it all on one day, or we could invest in something that would build equity and give us space to grow,” said Kolb, who works in new-home sales.
Owning a place where guests could sleep in an extra bedroom, instead of on the couch in their old rental, “really solidified us starting our lives together,” Kolb said. Their wedding is set for next May.
Homes and weddings have both gotten more expensive, but there are signs that home prices are rising faster. From 2019 to 2023, the median sales price for existing single-family homes rose by 44%, according to the National Association of Realtors. The average cost of a wedding increased 25% over that time, according to annual survey data from The Knot.
Roughly three quarters of couples move in together before marriage, and may already be considering the trade-offs between buying and renting. The cost of both has risen sharply over the past few years, but rent rises regularly while buying with a fixed-rate mortgage caps at least some of the costs.
An $800 rent hike prompted Sonali Prabhu and Ryan Willis, both 27, to look at buying. They were already paying $3,200 in monthly rent on their two-bedroom Austin, Texas, apartment, and felt they had outgrown it while working from home.
In October, they closed on a $425,000 three-bed, three-bath house. Their mortgage payment is $200 more than their rent would have been, but they have more space. They split the down payment and she paid about $50,000 for some renovations.
Her dad’s one request was that the house face east for good fortune, she said. Both parents are eagerly awaiting an engagement.
“We’re very solid right now,” said Prabhu, who plans to get married in 2026. “The marriage will come when it comes.”
