The ‘Meatball Test’ and Other Tips for Pet-Proofing Your Decor
Yes, it’s possible to have both a chic interior and four-legged friends. Designers share their hard-won workarounds.
Yes, it’s possible to have both a chic interior and four-legged friends. Designers share their hard-won workarounds.
I UNDERSTAND the pet-owner’s decor dilemma. When my roommate and I fostered two kittens, a toxic cycle began. Though our new friends knocked framed posters off the wall at night, the next morning Betty and Brontë’s innocent eyes would disarm me and I’d drop kisses on their tiny foreheads. But must “fur babies” condemn a homeowner to tarp-clad sofas and plastic vases? No, say pet-owning interior designers.
New York designer Ghislaine Viñas’s tip: Roll out dark-colored rugs with intricate patterns to hide slobber, mud and piddle accidents. Jaipur Living’s Poeme design would pass Atlanta designer Cate Dunning’s “meatball test,” which asks: Would a meatball dropped on the rug disappear? If so, bring on the paws.
Thick, natural weaves like wool and seagrass weather house-training accidents well. Avoid sisal, says New York designer Bunny Williams. Though handsome and textured, it easily absorbs moisture, making spot cleaning a chore, she says. Performance materials such as polypropylene hold up well, says Keren Richter, principal designer of Manhattan firm White Arrow, but she steers clear of viscose, a delicate semi-synthetic material prone to shedding.
Pets’ claws catch easily in loose weaves like bouclé, and cats especially can’t resist them. Richter tests a textile’s suitability with a paper clip. Unfold the metal and run the jagged end against a fabric. If it snags, the material won’t survive a cat’s talons. Mohair and velvet pass this test, the designer has found.
Nicole Fuller’s two Maine Coons, Monty and Punk, besieged her herringbone linen sofa, “hanging from it by their claws,” she said. The New York designer reupholstered the couch in Dedar’s Klein blue cotton velvet—tightly woven and durable. As for leather, cats’ claws will shred it, but paw marks and the oil from dogs’ coats can be passed off as “patina.”
Viñas endorses performance fabrics for upholstery as they “ensure the highest level of durability.” Sunbrella offers solution-dyed acrylic that repels water and stains and holds up against the oil and dirt from dogs’ coats, says Richter. Fuller, who finds some performance fabrics too rough, relies on luxurious European outdoor fabric from Loro Piana and Pierre Frey .
For shedding fur, Richter suggests the ultimate camouflage: a sofa that matches your pet’s colouring. “Sometimes, if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em,” she said.
Alternatively, Williams tucks throws into armchairs and wraps sofa cushions in blankets. After years with her cat and two terrier mixes, she’s found that faux fur blankets and cotton block-printed Indian fabrics endure, wash easily and appear intentional. “Make sure that it still looks like a chair that someone can sit in and not just the dog’s chair [or sofa],” Williams said.
Fuller collects Murano glassware and loves lit candlesticks. Uncompromising, she presses Stick-Um putty to the bottoms of both so her cats can’t topple them. Richter deploys museum gel , a special adhesive, for wobbly curios.
Plants can be hung out of reach of digging dogs and mischievous cats, says Geraldine James, author of “Cool Dogs, Cool Homes” (CICO, 2023). If you like your plants earthbound, the website Plants for Pet Parents sells plants the ASPCA deems not toxic to pets.
As for the slew of chew toys, corral them in a container that compliments your interior—whether that’s a folksy gingham-lined basket or IKEA’s mod dandelion-yellow wire bin .
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Randy Boyagoda’s new novel, “Lords of Serendipity,” delivers a biting satire of cheating, politics and dysfunction across modern universities.
Administrative cowardice. Rampant cheating. The soaking and scamming of undergrads and grad students. Performative wokeism. Intensifying competition for international tuition dollars from an expansive China.
These are either the latest dire headlines about American higher ed or the myriad subplots of “Lords of Serendipity,” an ambitious new novel by Randy Boyagoda. Unlike most campus fiction, its scope extends well beyond the cloister of the liberal arts classroom to whammy the entire university system, from its financial model to its function within a globalized economy. Along the way, it skewers its lightning-rod targets with a precision too sharp to be considered entirely fictional.
That its author is not only well-versed in satire, having written four other novels in the genre, but is also a professor of English at the University of Toronto and an experienced college administrator, further blurs the lines between comic fiction and brutal fact. It’s the kind of no-holds-barred book only a consummate insider would know to write—but only one who is also conveniently outside the American university system could get away with writing.
“This is someone who’s got the inside dope on what can go on at universities, especially with international students, and what kind of con games are going on,” said Margaret Atwood, a friend and fellow Torontonian.
The novel, like Boyagoda himself, is often very funny—even as the dilemmas its characters face read as tragedy. Its cast includes the bickering members of a Sri Lankan hotel cleaner’s family, insecure American freshmen, dead-end third-tier college professors and their highflying Ivy League counterparts and dispirited university functionaries. An old-fashioned Dickensian tale, it sweeps across continents and campuses, from a classic liberal-arts college to a stand-in for Harvard University to an urban technical school to the dilapidated buildings of a state-run university in Sri Lanka.
“I’m a joyful person,” Boyagoda said in an interview, though he prefers to see his outlook on academia as “hopeful” rather than optimistic. He smiles and laughs frequently. He bikes everywhere. He derives energy from his students and from his four daughters, ages 14 to 20. They help him and his American wife, Anna, also an educator, care for Boyagoda’s father, an immigrant from Sri Lanka who has dementia and lives with the family.
The germ of the novel came to Boyagoda during the pandemic, when he was serving as a vice-dean. An urban legend was circulating about a statistics grad student selling passing grades to international students. The cheating scheme itself may well have been apocryphal, but it felt tantalizingly plausible.
“As a novelist, it stayed with me,” Boyagoda said. “Who would sell grades for a stats course? Why would someone buy grades? What’s motivating them? Why wouldn’t the university be doing something about it?” What he didn’t want to do, he explained, was write “another novel about a creative writing professor and his drama with students.”
In addition to writing novels—the first of which was a finalist for Canada’s prestigious Giller Prize; he’s written eight books in total—Boyagoda teaches literature full-time. For his students next semester, kids raised in a purportedly “post-literature era,” he’s assigning three 700-page novels, he noted mischievously, books by George Eliot, Ralph Ellison and Kiran Desai.
On RateMyProfessors, students remark on Boyagoda’s heavy assignments, tough grading and distaste for cellphones, but also hail his “comedy.” When alerted to these reviews, Boyagoda laughed. “Guilty as charged,” he said.
“Randy’s one of those people in academia who is very well educated but doesn’t have an ounce of superiority about him,” said John Irving, who frequently guest lectures in Boyagoda’s classroom. “It’s amazing to see how willing students are to talk in his classrooms, how little afraid they feel of being mocked or put down—he gets complete candor out of them.”
Negotiating competing interests seems to come naturally to him. Like many college campuses, after the Oct. 7 Hamas attack on Israel, the University of Toronto was embroiled in protests, encampments and discord; part of the school’s response was to convene a working group on civil discourse. Boyagoda was put in charge, serving for two years. It’s the kind of thankless task many professors would flee from, but Boyagoda relished the prospect and thinks the group, which is ongoing, made progress.
He has since pivoted to another formidable academic concern: the waning prestige of the humanities. In July, Boyagoda became the director of the Jackman Humanities Institute and special advisor on the humanities to the dean of arts and science. This fall, he is starting a series of gatherings he calls the Dead Book Club. (Dead writers feature heavily among his favorites: St. Augustine, Dante, William Faulkner, Evelyn Waugh, Saul Bellow.)
“The goal is to encourage students to read for its own sake and have conversation for its own sake,” Boyagoda said. “The importance of the humanities will be revealed to those who participate.”
“Lords of Serendipity,” which publishes next week, reflects Boyagoda’s commitment to the pursuit of knowledge: “I’m supposed to say I learn more from my students than they do from me, but no,” Boyagoda said. “I enjoy sharing my excitement and joy about literature and ideas. There are these moments when you are teaching and you can see someone’s face change because they didn’t know something and then they did. That moment when you’re actually watch someone enlarge themselves is deeply satisfying.”
In literary circles, Boyagoda is often referred to as a Catholic novelist, a description he embraces. “A novelist willing to give shape and voice to contemporary religious experience is needed,” Boyagoda said. “I understand myself as a Catholic novelist, provided that I’m not only a Catholic novelist, I’m also a South Asian novelist and I’m a Canadian novelist. I don’t want to be captive to one label.”
His characters, he said, are subjected to what he calls “Graham Greene character situations.”
“They are trying to do good in a fallen world and realize the most they can do is less harm than someone else would do in that same role,” he explained. “They have to accept they are complicit in something that provides some good thing to others. It’s a very Graham Greene way of thinking about sacrifice.”
The campus green they inhabit is a febrile zone in which lofty ideals and cynicism regularly collide. It’s a place where a traditional holiday college celebration is now an occasion for political protest. Kids freely police one another inside and out of the classroom with social media their constant, ready weapon of choice. International students, knowing their family’s financial futures hinge on their degrees, operate in terror of failure and deportation.
Early readers of the book include Gary Shteyngart and Junot Diaz, both of whom have taught at universities and written comic novels. They each contacted Boyagoda midway through to say, in essence, “You nailed it.”
As biting as “Lords of Serendipity” can be, Boyagoda’s faith in higher education remains undaunted.
“It’s absurd that we live in societies that make the decision to take people between the ages of 18 and 22, when they are most physically capable of contributing to our nations and communities, and tell them, ‘Go away for four years, and read and learn and have conversations,’” he said. “I want students to be aware of what an incredible privilege that is.”
Corrections & Amplifications
Randy Boyagoda is a special advisor on the humanities to the dean of arts and science at the University of Toronto. An earlier version of this article incorrectly said he is a special adviser to the dean of humanities. (Corrected on Sept. 2)