Some have no qualms about treating ChatGPT like their servant; ‘Just like humans, AI can’t always be the bigger person.’
4 min
California couple Vikas Choudhary and Ridhi Sahni can’t agree on one thing: How polite must one be with ChatGPT?
Choudhary, the founder of an artificial intelligence startup based in Palo Alto, has fawned over the chatbot from OpenAI ever since it helped him squash a massive bug in his code.
“You’re a rock star,” he once told the AI chatbot.
“I’m super thankful for it, and I thank it quite a bit actually—especially if I think I was rude to it earlier,” said Choudhary.
His wife couldn’t care less. “If I’m using a microwave, I don’t go like: ‘Dear LG, Please heat this up.’ I just press a button and get on with my day,” said Sahni, who also works at a tech company.
She uses ChatGPT to generate cute greeting cards for friends’ babies.
“I think of this as purely transactional,” she said.
As talking to chatbots is now becoming more like normal conversations, AI users face an awkward ethical dilemma: Bots are programmed to be polite, but do we have to reciprocate? Is it wrong to speak harshly to them?
The debate has spilled onto social media where many people say one should practice politeness even with bots. Others think wasting kind words conversing with code is inefficient.
“I know AI isn’t real but it feels so rude if I don’t greet and thank it,” one user wrote on Reddit, prompting hundreds of comments and a lively debate over whether bots are keeping tabs on who is nice to them.
Some shot back with sarcasm. “AI will want to extinguish human race but not that one, he said ‘please and thank you’ 30 years ago to my 4.0 version,” one user wrote.
“I treat chatgpt like it’s my servant,” another said.
A recent survey showed Americans are split on being polite to AI. About 48% of 2,000 Americans surveyed by Talker Research thought it was important, with Gen Z respondents being the friendliest to bots. Around 27% of people agreed it was OK to be rude with or shout at bots.
One study out of Japan—a place where rules of etiquette are ironclad—concluded that being nice to ChatGPT can pay off. Impolite prompts “may lead to increased bias, incorrect answers, or refusal of answers,” the researchers found.
They found that the thesis held true across English, Japanese and Chinese.
Microsoft , which has added chatbots to its top products, says AI may not react well to bad behaviour as it is built to mimic human reactions.
“If you speak to the model rudely, you can expect it to be difficult with you too,” said Microsoft’s Chief Scientist Jaime Teevan.
“Just like humans, AI can’t always be the bigger person,” Microsoft said in a blog post.
Engineers say it helps to add phrases like “take a deep breath” to make models produce better answers. They joke that generative AI has a “praise kink” for its apparent need for positive affirmations and potential rewards.
In one experiment, ChatGPT gave longer answers when lured with a tip. The results indicated that responses were 11% longer when offered a $200 tip and 6% longer for a $20 tip. No real tips were paid during the experiment.
“The litmus test for how good a person you are is if you are nice to a waiter,” said Alana O’Grady, an executive at a tech startup based in San Mateo, Calif. “In the future, it’ll be how kind you are to your AI companion.”
O’Grady has used ChatGPT for a host of activities—from summarising reams of documents at work to recommendations for a family vacation to Lake Tahoe.
Her interactions start with a “Could you please” and end with “Great job,” or “That’s perfect!”
“People will think I’m crazy if they see how I talk to a computer,” she said.
Now O’Grady is training her children on the right etiquette by being polite to Apple ’s virtual assistant, Siri, around them. Her 4-year-old daughter recently said “I love you” to Siri.
Judith Martin—the author behind decades of “Miss Manners” books and columns on etiquette—suggests people be polite. She even thinks getting Siri or Amazon Alexa’s attention with a “Hey” is unacceptable.
“When it is one’s constant companion—and particularly in the presence of children—such devices should be treated with civility,” she wrote in one column .
Others disagreed, saying there should be a distinction between how people talk with people vs. bots.
Some humans are now turning to AI for help with etiquette. Frankfurt-based software developer Laszlo Deak uses a chatbot to vent and translate his work frustrations into polite prose.
He asked ChatGPT how to constructively tell another team that their product was bad. It suggested using kinder phrases to say it wasn’t working as well as expected.
“When you’re in the moment and angry, it takes extra effort to rephrase the whole thing,” said Deak. Reading ChatGPT’s iteration “helps me to calm down.”
He has also used ChatGPT to draft Slack messages to colleagues when they’re being difficult.
Mazen Lahham, a Dubai-based tech executive, said his company’s AI was better at satisfying angry and aggressive callers than its human call-centre workers.
“The AI learned to absorb and react in a calm, professional manner, something that can be very challenging for a human,” he wrote in a LinkedIn post.
Choudhary, the Palo Alto-based startup founder, is betting his good behaviour might pay off someday. “In the future if the AI overlords take over, I just want them to remember that I was polite.”
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Following the successful launch of its Palais Collection, MAISON de SABRÉ has unveiled a new modular handbag system offering more than 720 styling combinations.
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The Matildas captain has joined one of the world’s most exclusive luxury watch brands, sharing candid insights into the sacrifices required to succeed at the highest level of world football.
3 min
Australian football superstar and Matildas captain Sam Kerr has joined one of the world’s most exclusive luxury watch brands, reflecting on the sacrifices behind a career at the pinnacle of professional sport and revealing she only signed with her new club last week.
As Richard Mille’s first and only Australian partner, Kerr has joined an elite group of global athletes, artists and innovators associated with one of the world’s most prestigious watchmakers.
Speaking in Sydney, the 32-year-old reflected on her next chapter, the extraordinary growth of women’s football and the personal sacrifices required to reach the top of the game.
Founded in 2001, Richard Mille has built a reputation for producing some of the world’s most technically advanced and exclusive timepieces. The Swiss watchmaker is renowned for its use of ultra-lightweight materials, Formula One-inspired engineering and limited-production watches that often sell for hundreds of thousands of dollars and, in some cases, more than $1 million.
Its ambassadors include tennis great Rafael Nadal, Formula One stars Charles Leclerc and Lando Norris, actress Michelle Yeoh and sprint champion Shelly-Ann Fraser-Pryce.
During the Sydney event, Kerr wore the Richard Mille RM 07-04 Automatic Sport, a lightweight model featuring a pink case, blue strap and skeletonised movement. Designed for active lifestyles, the watch reflects the brand’s philosophy of combining high-performance engineering with luxury craftsmanship.
For Kerr, becoming the brand’s first Australian partner is a source of considerable pride.
“Of course, being the only Australian is incredible to me,” she said. “I am very proud to be Australian and I like to put Australia on the map.”
The announcement comes as Kerr prepares for the next stage of her football career following her departure from Chelsea after six-and-a-half years.
While speculation around her future has been mounting for months, Kerr revealed a decision was only finalised recently.
“Everyone thinks that it was decided and I’ve known that (it was) reported that I’d signed somewhere in April, but honestly, I only signed my contract on Wednesday last week,” she said.
“I really hadn’t decided what I was going to do until last week.”
Kerr said she expects details of her new club to be announced around the beginning of July once her Chelsea contract officially concludes.
Despite her excitement about what lies ahead, she admitted leaving one of the world’s biggest football clubs has been emotional.
“I am really sad about it,” she said. “It’s been my home for 6.5 years. I have so many good memories there. I have so many amazing teammates. I’m sad to leave.
“It sucks to leave such a big club like Chelsea too, but it comes to an end to everything, right?”
The 32-year-old also reflected on the transformation of women’s football during her career, describing the Matildas’ rise from relative obscurity to household-name status as one of her proudest achievements.
“What the Matildas have done over the last four or five years has been incredible,” she said.
“The most important thing for me is that you leave the game in a better place.”
Kerr noted that when she began playing, there were few professional pathways for women, limited sponsorship opportunities and crowds that bore little resemblance to those regularly attending matches today.
“We are a part of that generation that still knows what it was like when there was no one in the crowd,” she said.
Today, she said, crowds of tens of thousands remain something the team never takes for granted.
“Even last night we had 20,000 on a Tuesday night nearly. That’s special to us,” she said.
“We feel very lucky that people come out and spend their money and come to a game and watch us.”
Yet behind the accolades, sponsorships and sold-out stadiums, Kerr said there have been significant personal sacrifices.
“I’ve been living out of home since I was 17 years old. I’ve missed a lot of my family’s life,” she said.
“I’ve missed a lot of weddings. I’ve missed funerals. I’ve missed so many things that people don’t see.”
Kerr revealed she was unable to return home for her grandmother’s funeral last year because of football commitments.
“You have to love what you’re doing. You have to want to sacrifice,” she said.
“Everyone makes sacrifices, of course, and what I do is a massive privilege, but there comes a lot of sacrifice with it.”
Away from football, Kerr said Australia remains central to her identity despite spending much of her adult life overseas.
“I think we take for granted in Australia the beaches, the ocean, the open spaces,” she said.
As she prepares for a new club, a new season and a new role with Richard Mille, Kerr said she remains motivated by the same passion that first drew her to the game as a teenager.
“It was really organic,” she said of her relationship with the luxury watchmaker.
“It’s a real family brand.”
