‘Snow White’ Review: A Disney Princess’s Pointless Return

Even in Hollywood, pre-eminent in the field of chutzpah, greatness can be intimidating. Rarely does one hear producers discuss their plans to remake “Casablanca” or “Lawrence of Arabia.” It took Disney many years of creating live-action remakes of its classic animated features before it worked up the nerve to take another whack at its first, and perhaps most venerated, work, “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs,” which in 1937 set the template for richly evocative animation that could appeal to all ages. It is still, in inflation-adjusted dollars, the 10th-highest-grossing movie ever released in North America.

Disney’s first “Snow White” isn’t perfect—the prince is badly underwritten and doesn’t even get a name—but it is, by turns, enchanting, scary and moving. Version 2.0, starring Rachel Zegler in the title role and Gal Gadot as her nefarious stepmother, has been in the works since 2016 and already feels like it’s from a bygone era. After fans seemed grumpy about the rumored storyline and the casting of Ms. Zegler, Disney became bashful about releasing it last March and ordered reshoots to make everyone happy. Unfortunately, the story is so dopey it made me sleepy.

Directed by Marc Webb (“The Amazing Spider-Man” with Andrew Garfield ), the remake is neither a clever reimagining (like “The Jungle Book” and “Pete’s Dragon,” both from 2016) nor a faithful retelling (like 2017’s “Beauty and the Beast”), but rather an ungainly attempt at modernization. The songs “I’m Wishing” and “Someday My Prince Will Come” have been cut; the big what-she-wants number near the outset is called “Waiting on a Wish.” Instead of longing for true love (=fairy tale), Snow White hopes to sharpen her leadership skills (=M.B.A. program). And she keeps talking about a more equitable distribution of wealth in the kingdom she is destined to rule after her mother, the queen, dies and her father, having made a questionable choice for his second spouse, goes missing.

Ms. Gadot, giving it her all, is serviceable as the wicked stepmother. But she doesn’t bring a lot of wit to the role, and the script, by Erin Cressida Wilson , does very little to help. Her hello-I’m-evil number, “All Is Fair,” is meant to be the film’s comic showstopper but it’s barely a showslower, a wan imitation of “Gaston” from “Beauty and the Beast” or “Poor Unfortunate Souls” from “The Little Mermaid.” The original songs, from the songwriting team of Benj Pasek and Justin Paul (“La La Land”), also stack up poorly against the three tunes carried over from the original “Snow White,” each of which has been changed from a sweet bonbon into high-energy, low-impact cruise-ship entertainment. So unimaginative is the staging of the numbers that it suggests such straight-to-Disney+ features as 2019’s “Lady and the Tramp.”

After escaping a plot to kill her, Snow White becomes friends with a digital panoply of woodland animals and with the Seven Dwarfs, who instead of being played by actors are also digital creations. The warmth of the original animation is totally absent here; the tiny miners look like slightly creepy garden gnomes, except for Dopey, who looks like Alfred E. Neuman . As for the prince, there isn’t one; the love interest, Jonathan (a forgettable Andrew Burnap ), is a direct lift of the rogue-thief Flynn Rider , from 2010’s “Tangled,” plus some Robin Hood stylings. His sour, sarcastic tribute to the heroine, “Princess Problems,” is the worst Snow White number since the one with Rob Lowe at the 1989 Oscars.

Ms. Zegler isn’t the chief problem with the movie, but as in her debut role, Maria in Steven Spielberg’s remake of “West Side Story,” she has a tendency to seem bland and blank, leaving the emotional depths of her character unexplored even as she nearly dies twice. Gloss prevails over heart in nearly every scene, and plot beats feel contrived. She and Jonathan seem to have no interest in one another until, suddenly, they do; and when he and his band of thieves escape from a dungeon, they do so simply by yanking their iron chains out of the walls. Everything comes too easily and nothing generates much feeling. When interrogated by the evil queen, who wants to know what happened to her stepdaughter, Jonathan replies, “Snow who?” Which would be an understandable reaction to the movie. “Snow White” is the fairest of them all, in the sense that fair can mean mediocre.

Pure Amazon, an A&K Sanctuary, has officially launched its voyages into the 21,000-square-kilometre Pacaya-Samiria National Reserve.

Designed for just 22 guests, the new vessel positions itself at the high end of wilderness travel, offering quiet, immersive, and attentive experiences with a one-to-one staff-to-guest ratio. The focus is on proximity to wildlife and landscape, without the crowds that have made parts of the Amazon feel like tourism has arrived before the welcome mat.

Where Architecture Meets the River

The design direction comes from Milan-based architect Adriana Granato, who has reimagined the boat’s interiors as part gallery, part observatory. Floor-to-ceiling windows frame rainforest scenes that shift hour to hour, and every space holds commissioned artworks by Peruvian artists.

The dining room’s centrepiece, Manto de Escamas de Paiche by Silvana Pestana, uses bronze and clay formations that mirror the scale patterns of the Amazon’s giant fish. Pestana’s works throughout the vessel reference environmental fragility, especially the scars left by illegal gold mining.

In each suite, hand-painted kené textiles by Shipibo-Konibo master artist Deysi Ramírez depict sacred geometry in natural dyes. Cushions by the BENEAI Collective feature 20 unique embroidered compositions, supporting Indigenous women artists and keeping traditional techniques alive in a meaningful, non-performative way.

Wildlife Without the Tame Script

Days on board are structured around early and late river expeditions led by naturalist guides. Guests may encounter pink river dolphins cutting through morning mist, three-toed sloths moving like they’re part of the slow cinema movement, and black caimans appearing at night like something from your childhood nightmares.

The prehistoric hoatzin appears along riverbanks, giant river otters hunt in packs, and scarlet macaws behave like the sky belongs to them. The arapaima — the same fish inspiring Pestana’s artwork — occasionally surfaces like an apparition.

A Regional Culinary Lens

The culinary program is led by a team from Iquitos with deep knowledge of Amazonian produce.

Nightly five-course tasting menus lean into local ingredients rather than performing them. Expect dishes like caramelised plantain with river prawns, hearts of palm with passionfruit, and Peruvian chocolate paired with fruits that would be unpronounceable if you encountered them in a supermarket aisle.

A pisco-led bar menu incorporates regional botanicals, including coca leaf and dragon’s blood resin.

A Model of Conservation-First Tourism

Pure Amazon’s conservation approach goes beyond the familiar “offset and walk away” playbook. Through A&K Philanthropy, the vessel’s operations support Indigenous community-led economic initiatives, including sustainable fibre harvesting and honey production in partnership with Amanatari.

Guests also visit FORMABIAP, a bilingual teacher training program supporting cultural and language preservation across several Indigenous communities. Notably, the program enables young women to continue their education while remaining with their families — a rarity in remote regions.

Low-intensity lighting, heat pump technology, and automated systems reduce disturbance to the reserve’s nocturnal wildlife.

The Experience Itself

Itineraries span three, four, or seven nights. Mornings often begin with quiet exploration along mirrorlike tributaries; afternoons allow for spa treatments or time on the open-air deck. Evenings shift into long dinners and soft-lit river watching as the rainforest begins its nightly soundtrack.

Granato describes the vessel as “a mysterious presence on the water,” its light calibrated to resemble fire glow rather than a foreign object imposing itself on the dark.

It is, in other words, slow travel done with precision.

‘Snow White’ Review: A Disney Princess’s Pointless Return

Rachel Zegler and Gal Gadot star in an awkward live-action attempt to modernize the 1937 animated classic.

Pure Amazon has begun journeys deep into Peru’s Pacaya-Samiria National Reserve, combining contemporary design, Indigenous craftsmanship and intimate wildlife encounters in one of the richest ecosystems on Earth.